It has been a long time since I had a blog in the strictest sense. It feels a bit surreal, if I’m honest.
More specifically, the last… at least ten years, everything I’ve built was towards a purpose. A goal. The site had a target, a focus, an agenda. A point of view.
Not all of them panned out as intended, of course, and I have no more of a track records of hits or misses than anyone else, but they all had one thing in common: they were all about something.
The one site I enjoyed working on the most over the years, trying new things and so on, was probably the most fun because it wasn’t about something. It was a hodge-podge, a cacophony of my inner monologues; it was a blog, and a collection of my teen-era angst poetry, and wannabe novels.
And I find it very interesting how many of those ideas over the years were really ways to accentuate individual facets of what really could, or should, have been nooks and crannies of that site.
I started 2023 with a distinct sense of ennui. Some doors felt closed, others felt like they were waiting to open, if only some miracle should conveniently appear to make this possible. And yet I had no shortage of ideas of things I could do… they were just… hard. Worse, they were unfocused, undisciplined, and unclear in intent.
I struggled to find a voice for some of the projects; all of them have a place to stand in the universe, some of them have a champion in me (a few even have champions in others around me), but too few of them have a voice. Anyone can champion a cause, but the cause needs a voice to give it form, and this I was lacking in abundance.
Perhaps this exploration will give me some clarity on that front. Or if not, it’ll be practice stringing one word in front of another. It’s hard enough to communicate as it is, humanity seems ever distant, now more than ever in the age of hyper-connectedness, so that any effort in putting one word in front of another feels entirely justified in that practice alone.